The Creative Dilemma: Why My Technical Blog Shackled My Creative Flow

alt

Here’s to my first non-techie blog post :tada: (and hopefully my last). Over the past three years, I’ve consistently urged my peers & friends to embark on their blogging journeys. However, recently, I frequently find myself cautioning them against what I once loved.

What changed? The truth is everything became serious. My blog experienced a surge in views, placing added pressure and expectations on the quality of content I deliver. For a while, I’ve felt like I can no longer blog about the weird & niche topics I enjoy exploring. I also began to feel I needed to publish increasingly interesting research. In doing so, I lost the creative spark for releasing blogs since there was now a focus on wanting to publish “the best”. As a result, I end up not posting at all.

I’ve invested hundreds of hours in research and hundreds more in writing my experiences, findings, and conclusions yet my work rarely feels “the best”.

I’ve written a lot of blog posts recently that I haven’t published because they don’t feel like “the best”. Additionally, they no longer feel like an honest reflection of my passions and reasons for having started this in the first place. I feel like I can no longer blog to simply riff on quirky things or to authentically explore topics in alignment with my current skills.

Honestly, there’s a bunch of stuff I don’t know. I’ve got more questions than answers. The main reason I create stuff is 'cause I’m just a curious person. Asking questions and digging into them is what makes me happy.

When I dive into new subjects or research projects I often worry about not being able to translate my experience into something that feels good enough. This makes me unhappy, and it paralyzes the depth of my research. In trying to share my experiences to my level of satisfaction I drift further away from the reason I love the work I do; everything I do is simply an expression of my curiosity.

When I make these blogs, they shouldn’t have to meet some imaginary level of depth or quality. It shouldn’t feel so different than it did when I started, I should still enjoy it. I’ve spoken to many of my friends and they’ve felt the same way more than once. Some have flat-out stopped publishing.

It’s easy to start feeling like you’re trying to prove something to someone instead of trying to discover something for yourself. That’s what I’ve recently found myself doing. Personally, this feels dishonest and disrespectful of where I’m at. I am not the best, so why strive for such perfection? I’m just myself, so I ought to craft things that reflect who I am, I should make me blogs. That’s what I’ll start doing.

Article Link: The Creative Dilemma: Why My Technical Blog Shackled My Creative Flow